It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
True college students do jello shots in the library
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
