found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
