i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
