some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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