He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
