Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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