i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
