420 ftw
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
