There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
