i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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