You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I understand Curling. That high.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
