This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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