This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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