There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
