My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
