Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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