I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
