If i come over, it means nothing
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
