So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
