Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she pinky promised me she was 18
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
