I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
