New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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