I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
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