sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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