How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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