i would punch a child for taco bell
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
