I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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