its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
