do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We are all done wearing pants today
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
