Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
