I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
