Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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