Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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