I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
