why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
