if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
