their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Everything about him screamed your future.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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