Don't make out with my wife yet
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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