just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
