He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
