Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
