First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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