Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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