She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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