Whoa Z and x make the same sound
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
