i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
