well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
