I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She tied me up with her honor cords...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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