I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
