there was a trapeze. enough said
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
