he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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