Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
