I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
