just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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