i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
they're like a gay fantastic four
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
