so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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