LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
