I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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