Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
