Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
