i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize