The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
